Friday, May 20, 2005
Revenge of the Sith -- nope, the prequels are still broken
On the ride home after seeing Star Wars: Episode III -- Revenge of the Sith, Jacquie actually got quite mad at me because I pointed out various problems in the latest (and thankfully last) of the Star Wars movies. She takes her Star Wars quite seriously.
Thankfully, I went into the film being cautiously optimistic. If I'd gone in as a fanboy, I would've been pretty pissed off. But being burned twice by George, I just couldn't bare the heartbreak again.
For the record, I liked Jar Jar. I hated the pod race, and I hated the cutesy little kid element. Also for the record, Anakin in Attack of the Clones was a whiny, little bitch. At least that got fixed in ROTS (yeah, what a great acronym there, Mr. Lucas -- it's fitting, though).
In the end, instead of sealing up all the plot holes created with the first two prequels, Lucas only created about a dozen more -- some of them so big I could fly the Death Star through them. I have many things to say on the subject, of course, but being the nice guy that I am, the following spoiler comments are invisible so as not to ruin the movie for others. Just highlight the following text to see my comments.
So Anakin turned to the Dark Side because he couldn't save Padme from death in child birth? Okay, I can live with that ... if it wasn't for the fact that Return of the Jedi made it quite clear that she died when Leia was a child. Leia has memories of her mother, although they are sketchy, while Luke has absolutely no memories of his mother.
While I can no longer remember the source of my information (and it may have been totally inaccurate), the story I'd always heard was that their mother went with Bail Organa to Alderaan, possibly married him and raised Leia. Meanwhile, Luke was taken by Obi-Wan to Tatooine and hidden from Anakin. That way, they were separated, and if Vader found one, he wouldn't find the other -- and the galaxy could still possibly be saved.
Also, how do you explain that "princess" title? Obviously, "queen" on Naboo is more akin to "president" or "prime minister." It's not a hereditary title, so why the hell is Leia a princess? It makes no sense. Perhaps children of past queens can call themselves princesses, but would Leia be given that moniker when her life is danger if her identity is exposed? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
The explanation of the blue glowies was interesting. It was kind of lame, though. We'd all been led to believe that it was normal for those most powerful in the Force to come back as a spirit. Now it's shown that it's a new trick learned by Qui-Gonn (who doesn't make an appearance). However, if it's a trick that Qui-Gonn teaches Obi-Wan and Yoda, how the hell does Anakin come back as a blue glowie at the end of ROTJ?
The appearance of Chewbacca served no purpose whatsoever. It didn't drive the storyline. All it did was attach Chewbacca to the Clone Wars. His cameo could've been left out, and the movie would not have been any worse for it.
Why did it take the Galactic Empire twenty years to build the first Death Star and only three or four to build the second one?
Who ordered that clone army? Siphidious was named, and the guess is that it was probably Darth Sidious. Funny how the names are so close. My guess is Siphidious was probably killed by Palpatine, who then used his name to order the clone army. But still, why would the Republic not be at least a little concerned about this army? In AOTC, they question it once and then take possession of it. Laaaaaame.
Mace Windu's death kicked ass.
The battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin kicked ass.
The dialogue throughout the movie did not kick ass.
Count Dooku's death was rather anti-climactic ... and far too early in the film.
Yoda fighting Sidious kicked ass.
Why would Padme be so surprised that Anakin killed all the younglings when he slaughtered the men, women and children of a Sand People village? Hello! What the fuck?
EDIT: Oh yeah, and someone should really buy George Lucas a dictionary so he can look up the definition of "balance." The explanation for the prophey was utterly fucking retarded.
I'll probably have more thoughts later.
Thankfully, I went into the film being cautiously optimistic. If I'd gone in as a fanboy, I would've been pretty pissed off. But being burned twice by George, I just couldn't bare the heartbreak again.
For the record, I liked Jar Jar. I hated the pod race, and I hated the cutesy little kid element. Also for the record, Anakin in Attack of the Clones was a whiny, little bitch. At least that got fixed in ROTS (yeah, what a great acronym there, Mr. Lucas -- it's fitting, though).
In the end, instead of sealing up all the plot holes created with the first two prequels, Lucas only created about a dozen more -- some of them so big I could fly the Death Star through them. I have many things to say on the subject, of course, but being the nice guy that I am, the following spoiler comments are invisible so as not to ruin the movie for others. Just highlight the following text to see my comments.
So Anakin turned to the Dark Side because he couldn't save Padme from death in child birth? Okay, I can live with that ... if it wasn't for the fact that Return of the Jedi made it quite clear that she died when Leia was a child. Leia has memories of her mother, although they are sketchy, while Luke has absolutely no memories of his mother.
While I can no longer remember the source of my information (and it may have been totally inaccurate), the story I'd always heard was that their mother went with Bail Organa to Alderaan, possibly married him and raised Leia. Meanwhile, Luke was taken by Obi-Wan to Tatooine and hidden from Anakin. That way, they were separated, and if Vader found one, he wouldn't find the other -- and the galaxy could still possibly be saved.
Also, how do you explain that "princess" title? Obviously, "queen" on Naboo is more akin to "president" or "prime minister." It's not a hereditary title, so why the hell is Leia a princess? It makes no sense. Perhaps children of past queens can call themselves princesses, but would Leia be given that moniker when her life is danger if her identity is exposed? Dumb, dumb, dumb.
The explanation of the blue glowies was interesting. It was kind of lame, though. We'd all been led to believe that it was normal for those most powerful in the Force to come back as a spirit. Now it's shown that it's a new trick learned by Qui-Gonn (who doesn't make an appearance). However, if it's a trick that Qui-Gonn teaches Obi-Wan and Yoda, how the hell does Anakin come back as a blue glowie at the end of ROTJ?
The appearance of Chewbacca served no purpose whatsoever. It didn't drive the storyline. All it did was attach Chewbacca to the Clone Wars. His cameo could've been left out, and the movie would not have been any worse for it.
Why did it take the Galactic Empire twenty years to build the first Death Star and only three or four to build the second one?
Who ordered that clone army? Siphidious was named, and the guess is that it was probably Darth Sidious. Funny how the names are so close. My guess is Siphidious was probably killed by Palpatine, who then used his name to order the clone army. But still, why would the Republic not be at least a little concerned about this army? In AOTC, they question it once and then take possession of it. Laaaaaame.
Mace Windu's death kicked ass.
The battle between Obi-Wan and Anakin kicked ass.
The dialogue throughout the movie did not kick ass.
Count Dooku's death was rather anti-climactic ... and far too early in the film.
Yoda fighting Sidious kicked ass.
Why would Padme be so surprised that Anakin killed all the younglings when he slaughtered the men, women and children of a Sand People village? Hello! What the fuck?
EDIT: Oh yeah, and someone should really buy George Lucas a dictionary so he can look up the definition of "balance." The explanation for the prophey was utterly fucking retarded.
I'll probably have more thoughts later.
// posted by Chris @ 8:10 AM 
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