Monday, November 13, 2006
I've been reading over the various candidates' Websites I have to decide between in Ajax, and I'm very tempted to simply vote for the candidate in each area who most looks like a video game character. After all, Mayor Steve Parish kind of sets the bar in that way. Tell me he doesn't look like Super Mario.
The Mayoral Candidates
Steve Parish
Looking at the long-standing mayor's Website, I'm dismayed. What kind of person posts a text-based letter as a JPEG? If I remember my graphics manipulation classes properly, GIF is the preferred format for text in an image. It doesn't mess up the text so much as JPEG does. Or maybe I'm full of it.
Still, what kind of person posts text as an image? Still, the good mayor has been at this a long time. I haven't really had any complaints about living in Ajax over the last four years, so I wonder if there's a reason to beg for a change.
Lidia Kuleshnyk
The challenger's site makes me cringe. What's with all the pink? What's with the sound file playing when you go to the site?
I suppose I can't blame her for trying to do something a little different, but most of the site is based on images. Again I ask: Why post an image if you're really just posting text?
I also don't really see much difference between Kuleshnyk's platform and the incumbent mayor's, leading me to believe there is absolutely no reason to change.
And to make matters worse, she doesn't even look like a video game character. How can she expect to defeat Bowser?
Okay, now that I've made a mockery of the election and the mayoral candidates, I'll throw my support behind Mayor Steve Parish.
Ward 4 Councillor Candidates
I live in Ward 4, just barely out of the ward where Joanne DIES is running. So I guess I can't vote for the candidate with the most unfortunate last name. So here are my choices...
Pat Brown
Who? I see a phone number. I don't see an email address. I don't see a Website. I have found this on the Town of Ajax Website, though. While there actually is an email address listed for this current councillor, I'm concerned about someone who can't even throw up a crappy Blogger site to tell me her platform.
I'm of the new age. I need my information via the Intarweb, dammit!
Leslie Davies
The Town of Ajax site lists a phone number and email address, but no Website. Since she (he? damn unisex names) is not the incumbent, Davies doesn't even have any information listed on the Town of Ajax site. With no platform to speak of, I vote you off the island.
Lisa Patel
Hey, check this shit out! Someone actually has a simple, functional Website. There's, like, real information here. She doesn't really have much of a platform listed, which is unfortunate, but being the only one of the three candidates to give a damn about the Intarweb, I think we have a winner.
And her site is in green. I like green.
Wards 3 & 4 Regional Councillor Candidates
Colleen Jordan
The incumbent has been in her role for three years, as you can read on her Website. It looks like she's been busy. She's anti-developers but pro-green belt. Works for me. Her site kind of has a blue-green colour scheme, too. Yay!
Lynn McGurk-Weil
And the challenger's Website is here. Text in images! Booooo! Of course, it looks more professionally done than the text in the mayoral candidates' images, so maybe I can't complain too much. I'm not sure if I see much of a difference in platforms between Jordan and McGurk-Weil, so I'm not sensing a great need for change here.
I think Jordan is the winner here for simply being the incumbent. She's already doing the job. Why make her stop?
Durham District School Board Wards 3 & 4 Candidates
Lisa Hill
This is the big "who gives a flying fuck?" position. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. Jacquie doesn't even teach in Ajax. I don't care who's the frickin' school board trustee. But let's take a look-see, anyway. Lisa Hill seems to be using her husband's email address or something, and while there's a phone number listed, there's no Website listed. Strike one. She is the incumbent, even though I can't seem to find any information about her on the town's Website. Bizarre.
Gregory Ansley
Here's a dude with balls. Not much else going for him, but balls of concrete.
He's a third-year university student working on a bachelor of arts with a major in criminology. I suppose I could insert the obligatory snarky comment about how politics and crime are a perfect mix, but I won't. Oh wait, I think I just did. Never mind.
Ansley's site is basic and straightforward, but his platform makes me howl with laughter. He doesn't have one. Check this quote out:
So his platform is that he doesn't have one. This strikes me as an attempt to jump into a position of power only to hope that someone tells him what he needs to do. That's bloody amateurish. It sounds reactive rather than proactive, and that's not what we need in a politician.
In this case, I have to go with the person who couldn't be bothered to make a Website. Or maybe I'll just leave this area blank on my voting form. Or maybe I could flip a coin. Again, I don't give a rat's ass who's the trustee.
Alright. I'm done. For all those candidates who I've poked fun at, my apologies. For writing that the mayor looks like Super Mario, I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to be mean. I was just born that way. ;)
The Mayoral Candidates
Steve Parish
Looking at the long-standing mayor's Website, I'm dismayed. What kind of person posts a text-based letter as a JPEG? If I remember my graphics manipulation classes properly, GIF is the preferred format for text in an image. It doesn't mess up the text so much as JPEG does. Or maybe I'm full of it.
Still, what kind of person posts text as an image? Still, the good mayor has been at this a long time. I haven't really had any complaints about living in Ajax over the last four years, so I wonder if there's a reason to beg for a change.
Lidia Kuleshnyk
The challenger's site makes me cringe. What's with all the pink? What's with the sound file playing when you go to the site?
I suppose I can't blame her for trying to do something a little different, but most of the site is based on images. Again I ask: Why post an image if you're really just posting text?
I also don't really see much difference between Kuleshnyk's platform and the incumbent mayor's, leading me to believe there is absolutely no reason to change.
And to make matters worse, she doesn't even look like a video game character. How can she expect to defeat Bowser?
Okay, now that I've made a mockery of the election and the mayoral candidates, I'll throw my support behind Mayor Steve Parish.
Ward 4 Councillor Candidates
I live in Ward 4, just barely out of the ward where Joanne DIES is running. So I guess I can't vote for the candidate with the most unfortunate last name. So here are my choices...
Pat Brown
Who? I see a phone number. I don't see an email address. I don't see a Website. I have found this on the Town of Ajax Website, though. While there actually is an email address listed for this current councillor, I'm concerned about someone who can't even throw up a crappy Blogger site to tell me her platform.
I'm of the new age. I need my information via the Intarweb, dammit!
Leslie Davies
The Town of Ajax site lists a phone number and email address, but no Website. Since she (he? damn unisex names) is not the incumbent, Davies doesn't even have any information listed on the Town of Ajax site. With no platform to speak of, I vote you off the island.
Lisa Patel
Hey, check this shit out! Someone actually has a simple, functional Website. There's, like, real information here. She doesn't really have much of a platform listed, which is unfortunate, but being the only one of the three candidates to give a damn about the Intarweb, I think we have a winner.
And her site is in green. I like green.
Wards 3 & 4 Regional Councillor Candidates
Colleen Jordan
The incumbent has been in her role for three years, as you can read on her Website. It looks like she's been busy. She's anti-developers but pro-green belt. Works for me. Her site kind of has a blue-green colour scheme, too. Yay!
Lynn McGurk-Weil
And the challenger's Website is here. Text in images! Booooo! Of course, it looks more professionally done than the text in the mayoral candidates' images, so maybe I can't complain too much. I'm not sure if I see much of a difference in platforms between Jordan and McGurk-Weil, so I'm not sensing a great need for change here.
I think Jordan is the winner here for simply being the incumbent. She's already doing the job. Why make her stop?
Durham District School Board Wards 3 & 4 Candidates
Lisa Hill
This is the big "who gives a flying fuck?" position. I don't have kids. I don't want kids. Jacquie doesn't even teach in Ajax. I don't care who's the frickin' school board trustee. But let's take a look-see, anyway. Lisa Hill seems to be using her husband's email address or something, and while there's a phone number listed, there's no Website listed. Strike one. She is the incumbent, even though I can't seem to find any information about her on the town's Website. Bizarre.
Gregory Ansley
Here's a dude with balls. Not much else going for him, but balls of concrete.
He's a third-year university student working on a bachelor of arts with a major in criminology. I suppose I could insert the obligatory snarky comment about how politics and crime are a perfect mix, but I won't. Oh wait, I think I just did. Never mind.
Ansley's site is basic and straightforward, but his platform makes me howl with laughter. He doesn't have one. Check this quote out:
As a newcomer to the field of politics and the administrative side of the Durham District School Board, I am completely open to any suggestions and recommendations parents may have regarding the system.
-Gregory Ansley
So his platform is that he doesn't have one. This strikes me as an attempt to jump into a position of power only to hope that someone tells him what he needs to do. That's bloody amateurish. It sounds reactive rather than proactive, and that's not what we need in a politician.
In this case, I have to go with the person who couldn't be bothered to make a Website. Or maybe I'll just leave this area blank on my voting form. Or maybe I could flip a coin. Again, I don't give a rat's ass who's the trustee.
Alright. I'm done. For all those candidates who I've poked fun at, my apologies. For writing that the mayor looks like Super Mario, I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to be mean. I was just born that way. ;)
// posted by Chris @ 11:07 AM 
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